Maboroshi no Hibi

幻の日々 (Maboroshi no Hibi) · 梦幻的日子 · Illusory Days

[Album] Kimi to Boku no Michi – track 5



The answer is always within you, where I keep on swimming
Yes, you shine with a dazzling light that is everlasting

Why did you tell such lies? Why are you able to smile like that?
How deeply must I be hurt to satisfy your heart?

I don’t need you, I never want to see your face again
I don’t need love, if these days can be called love

Loss is a scary ordeal, but I never had anything to begin with
What was I doing on my own? I was the laughingstock of the world

How much must I blame you before my heart can be saved?

You’re filthy, get away from me!
I won’t let you see these tears of mine

Right now, I’m actually terrified
I feel like I’ll never trust anyone again

I dream, I dream, I want to sleep on and on
Doing so will stop the arrival of tomorrow without you


Translation notes

1. Verse 1, line 1

The answer is always within you, where I keep on swimming
Yes, you shine with a dazzling light that is everlasting

“Swim” is the literal translation of the lyrics in Japanese (泳ぎ (oyogi)) and Chinese (泳). When the next line is included to expand upon the context, it can invoke the image of someone swimming in dark water towards a light. So, my guess is that “swim” is being used along the lines of “wander” or “chase”.


This song surprised me with how depressing its lyrics are and how conflicted the singer appears. Oku Hanako has written songs about sadness in relationships, but this is the first one that has made me feel that the singer is in an almost helpless state. Even in songs about one-sided crushes, at least there is the possibility of the singer bringing herself to move on. In this song, it feels like the singer is being abused and needs to leave the listener, yet she cannot bring herself to do that. The singer recognises that the listener is causing her misery, but there is still something about him that she can’t let go. As the singer can’t make herself leave, she instead tells the listener to leave.

My view is that this song is an experiment by Oku Hanako on her sad love song style. I think it’s good for her to try something new, and I hope that it will lead her to produce something that will surprise and delight all of her fans.


Simplified Chinese

答案总是在你心中  我不断在其中泳着
是的你以炫目的光  燃不尽地闪亮

要伤我多深  才能满足你的心?

不需要你  不想再看见你的脸
不需要爱  若这些日子称为爱

失去是可怕的  但我从一开始就什么都没有
我一个人在做些什么  我是大家的笑柄

要责备你到几时  我的心才能被救赎?

你好肮脏  滚到远远的吧
不让你看见的泪  是属于我的

我现在  其实还怕得不得了

作梦  作梦  想要一直睡着
这样  没有你的明天就不会到来了吧




  1. Denny Sinnoh

    As you say “helpless” – yes, may be a nice way to describe the whining/screeching I heard in the song.

    I don’t know the language, so it is easy for me to misinterpret the meaning. It sure rubs me the wrong way, I’m not sure why other than I don’t like the vocals.

    I remember that this was not a fan favorite when the album came out. I’m only basing this observation on three “fans” from The Penguin’s blog about the album back then.

    I used to always skip this one on my commute.

    You have given me a good perspective on the song now, so I will try to sympathize with it. I think the only way I could ever “get” this song would be if The Little Great One herself explained it to me.


    • Edward

      To describe what you heard as whining or screeching is not far off the mark of what I heard. It’s just that I’m reluctant to be negative when I explain how I perceive a song. If I did like what I heard, I would have aimed to get the translation out sooner. For some songs I come to like them after translating them, but not this one.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. tPenguinLTG

    I knew there was something different about this song when I first heard it. As for this song being an experiment, I wouldn’t be surprised because this song is actually older than you might think. It may have been released in 2014 with Kimi to Boku no Michi, but the earliest reference I can find is from 2009, where she performed it at the Oku Hanako Day concert, which leads me to believe that it’s one of her (formerly more obscure) indies songs.


    • Edward

      Thanks for that tidbit. I’m surprised she decided to include it in Kimi to Boku no Michi after so long. Based on her notes in good-bye and Oku Hanako BEST -My Letters- it is clear that she deliberately chooses the songs for each album, so I doubt it was included on a whim.


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